Pillar of Strength

“I can’t let you go, because you are the pillar of strength that will protect our family from any storm..” He always said this to his wife, my dearest sister in law.. Never did she imagine this will become the reality of her life one day.. He left her forever without saying goodbye…

It felt as if he had a choice to save only one life. And he chose hers. He knew her so well and he knew us, his family, more than we know about ourselves. He knew we needed a pillar of strength in his absence.

Just a sneeze or a cough or a scratch or a slight bruise on her was enough to shake his strength. He loved her so much! His confidence shook when she had the first fever due to COVID. He knew he had to do something, everything to protect her. He knew that the entire family will be shattered if she goes. He knew that he won’t be able to survive if anything would happen to her. She was the love of his life and he protected this life till his death..

My sister in law, his wife, a mother of two very loving young children and a caring daughter in law is the one I can’t see in pain at all. I can’t see a single tear in her eyes. Her smile is what I always want to see and she has stopped smiling now… her eyes are filled with tears as she goes through the pain of losing him forever…

A partner, a spouse, a sloulmate’s death is intolerable, insufferable. She wanted to go with him, I know.. but she is holding herself back gathering all the strength that she can for us, her kids, mom in law and me.. She is the one we all need and she knows it. She has proved her strength many a times. The biggest and the most difficult time was when she cared for him as he got sick due to COVID.. She had a choice to go home and rest which she badly needed after her recovery from COVID, but she decided to stay back in the hospital for him.

Day or night, she was there with him. Despite being in pain, extremely tired, she spent her nights on the chairs, uncomfortable benches outside his room. She would go to the stairs to have a meal as it was prohibited in the waiting area. She ran for his medicine, she stayed up many nights, she prayed and prayed to save his life.. His health started deteriorating. And she bore his anger and frustration as he kept getting weak and dependent. She stayed there, whenever he opened his eyes, whenever he needed her, she was there. She did everything and much beyond the normal, way more than anyone could imagine.. But she couldn’t save him. He left her without saying goodbye…

He knew that life will be difficult for all of us in his absence. That’s why he chose to save her.. Because she, my sister in law was/is/ and forever will be the Pillar of Strength not just for him but for the entire family, including me… Now I see my brother (dada) in her. I love her always… I hope and pray that she gets her smile back some day… soon…